Monday, August 3, 2009

Elana's 'Fresh Princess of Bel Air'

Fresh Princess of Bel Air

Theme song

Now this is a story all about how

My life got flipped -turned up-side-down

And I’d like to take a minute just sit right there

I’ll tell you how I became the princess of a town called Bel Air

In West Philadelphia born and raised,

On a playground that’s where he spent most of his days

Chillin out max and relaxin’ all cool

And all shootin some b-ball outside of the school

When a couple of guys they were up to no good

Started makin’ trouble in his neighbourhood

He got in one little fight and his mom got scared

She said “You’re moving with your Auntie and Uncle in Bel Air”

I whistled for a cab and when it came near

He walked up to me and said “wanna share my dear”

If anything I could pay a cheaper fare

So we both got in, he said “yo homes to Bel Air”

We pulled up to his house about 7 or 8

And I gave him my number so he could call me later

I looked at his kingdom

I was finally aware

I’d sit on his throne as the princess of Bel Air


(Telephone rings)

Anale: Hello?

Will: Baby Babay

Anale: Who’s this?

Will: The man of your dreams

Anale: West Phili boy?

Will: The name’s Smith, Will Smith

Anale: How’s it going Will? Are you liking your new home?

Will: Aw baby you gotta check this place out! Uncle Phil says you can come by for dinner tonight! You down?

Anale: How kind of you. I’d love to come. See you tonight Will

Will: Oh and Ana, wear the lil thang I like.

Anale: Bye Will!

(Later that night at Wills house. Doorbell rings)

Vivian: Jeffery please let our guest in! Carlton, go get Will and tell him that dinner is ready

Hillary: Wait mother, we can’t have dinner yet. My new saphire nail polish isn’t dry yet. I can’t bare to mess them up.

Ashley: Mommy, I helped Geoffrey set the table. I put your favorite napkin rings on the new napkins!

Vivian: Thank you honey. Please go get your father away from that meatloaf. I would like to serve it without finger prints this time.

Ashley: Yes mommy

(Will and Carlton come downstairs and join Hillary on the couch. Jeffery presents Anale’s arrival as she walks into the room)

Will: Damn!

Vivian: Hi Anale! Welcome to our home. Will has told us all about you!

Hillary: Wow! That’s a great dress! What is it? Dior?

Will: Must be! Because I A’Dior you in that outfit. Baby you lookin’ fly!

(Will kisses Anale on the hand)

Carlton: William, that is no way to treat a lady. Hello Anale, please excuse my rude cousin. My name is Carlton. May I take your coat?

Anale: Okay.. thank you!

(Anale hands Carlton her coat)

Anale: Thank you for inviting me Vivian. Your house is lovely!

Vivian: Thank you! Come along kids, dinner is ready!

(They all head towards the dinner table. Ashley and Phil are already sitting at the table. Phil is snacking on the dinner rolls)

Will: Ana, this is my coolest cousin Ashley!

Anale: Nice to meet you Ashley

Ashley: You too! You are right Will, she’s pretty!

Will: And this is our pet pig Phil!

Phil: Very funny Will! Keep it up and there will be no more dinners for you. Welcome Anale! It’s a pleasure to have you here! Make yourself at home.

Anale: Thank you! It’s great to meet you all!

(Geoffrey brings over the dinner plates)

Geoffrey: Dinner is served.

Will: This meal is the bomb! Pound it Geoffrey

(Geoffrey pounds fists with Will)

Geoffrey: Anything for you Master William

Ashley: The bomb!

Vivian: Ashley! We are at the dinner table!

Ashley: Sorry mother!

(Ashley and Will exchange winks)

Phil: So Anale, Will tells me you're a fashion designer.

Anale: Yes, I just graduated last year from Woodbury college and am now an assistant designer for Dolce and Gabana.

Hillary: Oh my god! No way! I love their new summer line! I bought their peach mesh sun hat last week and I’m going to buy the matching bikini tomorrow! Daddy, I’m going to need the credit card in the morning.

Carlton: Woodbury huh? I am going to go to Harvard to study law. The professors from school said that my grades are superb and I am sure to get accepted. Woodbury is my second choice. I have already sent in my application last month. I did the calculations and found out it would be an 86% chance that I would get accepted through early acceptance. I did my last science project on the application process and found out that...

Will: No one cares midget brain! Anale got nominated for the uprising designer of the year award through the California college board.

Vivian: Woah! That’s great! Philip will be presenting the law student award at the event so we will see you there!

Carlton: And I think we all know who will be accepting that award next year!

Ashley: No one cares Carlton!

(Ashley and Will give each other high-fives)

Vivian: Ashley!

Ashley: Sorry mother!

Hillary: Geoffry, this meat loaf has to many carbs. You know I need to look good for my pool party. What’s for desert?

Geoffry- Peach cobbler Miss Hillary. Desert is served.

(Jeffery brings out desert platter)

Will: Get it while you can Ana before Phil “cobbles” it all down

Anale: Dinner was delicious. Thank you Phil and Vivian.

Ashley: Don’t thank them. They haven’t cooked a day in their lives. It’s jeffery whose the genius.

Phil: Ashley! ... Upstairs!

Ashley: Aw man! I always miss out on desert!

Carlton: Maybe you should start taking after me and not Will! He’s not the best example for a young teenage girl.

Will: Alright, well this “bad example” needs to take this lovely lady home.

(Will goes to get Anale’s coat)

Vivian: Well Anale, it was a pleasure getting to meet you! Phil and I hope to see you around here more often. Will’s been doing really good ever since he met you.

Anale: Thank you Vivian. Bye for now!

Vivian: Bye darling.

Phil: Goodnight.

Carlton: Bye lovebirds

(Will and Anale head out the door.)

Carlton: (singing) It’s not unusual to be loved by any one...

Phil: Carlton, shut up.


  1. Hey Elana... i really liked your fanfiction, i can totally image it being an episode of fresh prince of bel air... and not to mention the youtube link to carltons dance that was hilarious!! lol =D
    you have played out each character very well, specially Hillary and Carlton.
    and this line sounds like something so typical of Will to say "Must be! Because I A’Dior you in that outfit. Baby you lookin’ fly!" hahaha

    Looking forward for your next draft..

    P.s. im not sure what you can actully fix with this because its nice as is =]

  2. Hey Elana

    This is your evil twin sister Elana commenting on you. I have some critiques for you. Here we go...

    1. Make sure you in the first section of the diolugue that you put Will's name in bold because you missed one of them!

    2. In the first side direction where you wrote "Later that night. The doorbell rings." just made sure to put a space between that and the next section of diologue! It will look cleaner and easier to read! I think you just missed that by mistake!

    3.In Vivians first line.. make sure you put a comma after "Carlton!"

    4. After Anale walks in, and vivian says welcome to out home.. you put "out home" by mistake... just change it to "our".

    5. When will introduces Anale to ashley.. she says "NIce to meet you Ashley" . Make sure only the N is capatolized! not the I!

    6. When Ashley responds to that... make sure there is a comma after "You are right Will, .."

    7. Make sure there is a space after the stage direction (Jefferey pounds fists with Will)

    8. When Phil says "So Anale Will tells me your a fashion design" It should say "You're not Your"

    Other then that eveything looks good! Very witty play on words like "A'dior" and "cobbles it down". Good structure and easy to read! It was also quite Comedic and stuck to the characters personalities perfectly! Good Job


  3. Hey Elana.

    I just wanted to ask you, how did you underline the work "Episode" without it being a link? because everytime i press 'CTRL U' it doesnt do anything. I was able to italasize and make the font bold, but the underlining isnt working.


  4. Hey Taz,

    I just did it in a word document then copy pasted it! Hope this helps!


  5. This was a new style in what the other fan fiction writers have done so I was genuinely attracted to it. Also for the fact that it was based on Will Smith's Fresh Prince of Bel-Air who I watched throughout my childhood years.

    The thing I see that doesn't fit only is that Uncle Phil more than usual refers to Will as Will and very rarely as William. Even when he's mad I recall him still calling him Will. :P

    Nothing major, really enjoyed the read, keep it up!

  6. Great to see the links in your story to characters and stuff -
    great feedback folks1

  7. Wow Elana that's a unique and awesome fanfiction!I like how your fanfic is different from everyone elses, with the dialog and that goes well with the show, because on the show they sure do talk alot!

    Your dialog was fantastic exactly how each character would say it on the show, the dialog matches each character's personality really well.

    I don't have any advice or recomendations for you because i think you nailed your fanfic on the first go!

  8. Nice fashion assistant for D&G =) Surely stands out from everyone's fan fiction. Was interesting how you started it with the song and added a few of your own words! I think that's the best part of your fan fiction. Of course overall it was set exactly the way as it is on the show so my only other recommendation was to maybe twist a few things around? But otherwise i found it quite amusing!! Great choice of words =)

  9. Thank you guys! And Will.. you are right about how uncle Phil says his name! I will change that! :-)